Girlfriends Get-Together
So many of us in New York aren’t born-and-raised New Yorkers. We come to this city for work or school, with hardly a friend or a dime to our name, and then somehow, it’s a few years later, and we’re still here, making the best of it.
Bettina (Tina) Lee found herself in a similar situation when she arrived in Manhattan five years ago. She wanted to meet people, but she didn’t want to have to do it by going to a club or a bar — she just wanted to make some good friends and connections, which wasn’t easy. Out of that impulse, she started Girlfriends Get-Together, a socializing and networking event for women in the city. So far, the women have gone horseback riding, shopping, and dining together. Check out the GGT blog for updates on Girlfriends events.
Coming up this Thursday, there’s an event called The Collective, hosted by Tina’s company, Tinalee Media & Events. The Collective is “a social event designed to cultivate real relationships amongst the movers and shakers of the young urban professional set.”
The Collective
Every 4th Thursday
6-9 p.m.
Ginger Restaurant
1400 5th Ave. @ 116th St.
Add to Google
I guess, it’s okay that your grand/grand children will have to deal with direct affects of gentrification huh? You love them so much don’t you.
I think the best thing to do is to get along with everybody now, get some understanding with the different ethnic groups, teach your children so that they can better deal when it’s their time.
Continue being ignorant and your grand/grand kids will suffer…but I guess you don’t care about them anyways.
God help you lady.
anon,
Did I say you? I started by saying: “I don’t know about anyone else”…. I just wanted it clear what was posted.
Don’t you dare put Carly Simon into this! LOL!!
When will the new people to Harlem understand that they will never be truly welcomed by most of the people in Harlem. they will be unwelcomed when walking to and from … They will be sneered at as most are now.
Sorry, it may not be my opinion or idea, but it is the truth. Do most of these poepl try to make themselves part of the fabric of the community??
I dont care about Chinatowm… this IS the Mecca of Black America.
Or has any of these so called posters who are “in the know” asked the brothers and sisters in the street?
So sorry, they will have to deal with what they get. Period. End of story. Again, it may be mean, but it is happening.
And people may say wake up, because the area is changing. You are right, but it hasnt completely changed yet. I doubt it will change to us being the minority until our grand-grand children’s time. So until then, deal! You made the decision to move. So stop complaining.
Its ignorant, but hey I dont like it either
Monique-
I was not responding to your posts. I wrote in my post that I didnt know where to post the link so i just chose this one fairly randomly.
Where did I say anything directed at you?
You’re so vain, I bet you think this post is about you…dont you…dont youuuuuuuuuu
I don’t know about anyone else, but where did I state I hated white people? Go up and read the statements I made again.
What I said was that based on the name of the site, it should have been obvious what the site was about. I also said in my second post that what the first posted wrote was insulting…nothing more, nothing less.
When pointing out an issue, get the facts straight first.
I wasn’t sure which thread to post this in, but this one feels about right. Below is a link to an article in “Downtown Express” about Gentrification in China Town. I’m posting it because I think we, the people of Harlem need to wake up and realize we are part of a larger struggle between the haves and the have-nots in this city and more specifically in Manhattan. If we keep thinking this is an issue between Blacks and Whites and is specific to Harlem, we will never win. But if we realize there are people just like us in every area of Manhattan and NYC fighting against the same powerful forces, maybe we could band together and get something real and meaningful done.
here’s the article:
http://www.downtownexpress.com/de_225/gamesteaches.html
Don’t let your hate against white people trick you into mistaking this issue. This is not about the fact that we are black, this is about the fact that no matter what color we are, and no matter what color “gentrifiers” may be…it’s not about that. It is 100% about power and economics. Learn how to band together with other communities and fight together in this larger struggle.
I want to say kudos to Ms. Bettina Lee for starting Girlfriends Get Together. Which was the original reason I wanted to post. I wish you much success.
To Ms. Kaufman…
I have been away on vacation and did not get a chance to reply to your first response.
No, I will not hunt you down. I was responding simply to your statement:
“Isn’t Harlem changing. Why is everything on Harlem Flavor “black” Aren’t there events with other colors?
Ya know, networking with “urban” professionals only is not so beneficial.”
You did not explain, as you did in your second post that you were looking at it from a “business” point of view (e.g. blogging). Your statement was downright offensive. Which is why I posted the reply after your posting.
Bottom line, it was insulting to the creators of the site, to say something so callous, without knowing if it would offend other readers. While you do have a right to your opinion, you cannot be so blind as to the issues concerning old time Harlem residents vs. new harlem residents.
Harlem, whether it is changing or not, is still considered a black mecca. And quite frankly, let’s be honest here, many are moving simply because the rent is cheaper uptown (Harlem and beyond). If downtown area was affordable, many would have not ventured uptown. I am all for advancement, but at the the same time, to simply make a statement, during a time where many people are feeling displaced in a community that they have lived in for years, was inconsiderate. Have you not been reading what this site has posted regarding Harlem? Of course you have. But what you were saying was “screw it”…it’s changing and I want to read about things that relate to me. I want to know about other events. Well you have other sites to find out, or hell, find a friend at work to network with, plain and simple.
To pacify you is to make you feel that your view was right, and as I said, screw it. You don’t want to read about “urban” / “black” events, find another site. I hope that Uptown Flavor stays just the way it is.
I could care less about hunting you down. I’m just saying that if you are going to make such a bitchy statement, be woman enough not to hide behind the name “anonymous”.
Regarding the Black Wall Street Post:
“I doubt these AAs needed a mortgage from the so called racist people”
Many wealthy people don’t need mortgages or loans. However, they use them to manage cash flow, get tax breaks, build businesses (home equity loans), etc.
Mortgages and loans allow people to increase their net worth (ex. the rich get richer)
From Wikipedia on Donald Trump’s Financial Troubles:
By 1990, the effects of recession left Trump unable to meet loan payments.
Trump financed the construction of his third casino, the $1 billion Taj Mahal, primarily with high-interest junk bonds. That put him at a disadvantage with competitors who used more of their own money to finance their projects. Although he shored up his businesses with additional loans and postponed interest payments, by 1991 increasing debt brought Trump to business bankruptcy and the brink of personal bankruptcy.
Back to your original point:
While many of the people in Black Wall Street may not have NEEDED a mortgage, I’m sure many of them did use them to help the become successful, just like many non-Black successful people.
And, their success, without a doubt, can be contributed to the fact that they were not dependent on non-blacks to give them loans.
They had other options in Tulsa and their success proves what Black people can do if their opportunities are not hindered by external factors such as racism and discrimination.
SIDE NOTE: This is why home ownership is the #1 to becoming wealthy and increasing net worth.
Many new business owners use their homes as collateral to recieve business loans.
“Oh yes, Where on earth do you find an area that is not somewhat affluent successful. Please name some.”
I think our definitions of success may be different becuase of different values.
Money is important, but not everything.
What’s your definition of a successful neighborhood?
“Not all new comers act like the people of the “past”. You can sit there and dwell on the past if you want but there are many looking forward to the future and doing what they can now in the present to make the future better. New comers shouldn’t have to live with the sins of the past generations.”
Just for the record, I’m not just talking about the past. This is still going on TODAY in Harlem.
Yes, green is all that should matter, but racism is still an issue.
Black people with money are still being discriminated against in Harlem and have not been able to take advantage of the same financial opportunities that exist for many newcomers.
Take my word for it.
Maybe I’ll go into further detail sometime in the future.
Glad you posted that Snowe, people need to know the truth.
Just to share some info with all of you. I doubt these AAs needed a mortgage from the so called racist people nor did they need any reversing from them. I further doubt they needed the above standard education from them. Keep in mind Black Wallstreet was bombed to the ground.
Black Wallstreet (1830-1921)
The date was June 1, 1921, when “Black Wallstreet,” the name fittingly given to one of the most affluent all-black communities in America, was bombed from the air and burned to the ground by mobs of envious whites. In a period spanning fewer than 12 hours, a once thriving 36-black business district in northern Tulsa lay smoldering-A model community destroyed, and a major Africa-American economic movement resoundingly defused. The night’s carnage left some 3,000 African Americans dead, and over 600 successful businesses lost. Among these were 21 churches, 21 restaurants, 30 grocery stores and two movie theaters, plus a hospital, a bank, a post office, libraries, schools, law offices, a half-dozen private airplanes and even a bus system. As could be expected, the impetus behind it all was the infamous Ku Klux Klan, working in consort with ranking city officials, and many other sympathizers. In their self-published book, Black Wallstreet: A lost Dream, and its companion video documentary, Black Wallstreet: A Black Holocaust in America!, the authors have chronicled for the very first time in the words of area historians and elderly survivors what really happened there on that fateful summer day in 1921 and why it happened. Wallace similarly explained to Black Elegance why this bloody event from the turn of the century seems to have had a recurring effect that is being felt in predominately Black neighborhoods even to this day. The best description of Black Wallstreet, or Little Africa as it was also known, would be to liken it to a mini-Beverly Hills. It was the golden door of the Black community during the early 1900s, and it proved that African Americans had successful infrastructure. That’s what Black Wallstreet was about.
The dollar circulated 36 to 1000 times, sometimes taking a year for currency to leave the community. Now in 1995, a dollar leaves the Black community in 15 minutes. As far as resources, there were Ph.D’s residing in Little Africa, Black attorneys and doctors. One doctor was Dr. Berry who also owned the bus system. His average income was $500 a day, a hefty pocket of change in 1910. During that era, physicians owned medical schools. There were also pawn shops everywhere, brothels, jewelry stores, 21 churches, 21 restaurants and two movie theaters. It was a time when the entire state of Oklahoma had only two airports, yet six blacks owned their own planes. It was a very fascinating community. The area encompassed over 600 businesses and 36 square blocks with a population of 15,000 African Americans. And when the lower-economic Europeans looked over and saw what the Black community created, many of them were jealous. When the average student went to school on Black Wallstreet, he wore a suit and tie because of the morals and respect they were taught at a young age.
The mainstay of the community was to educate every child. Nepotism was the one word they believed in. And that’s what we need to get back to in 1995. The main thoroughfare was Greenwood Avenue, and it was intersected by Archer and Pine Streets. From the first letters in each of those names, you get G.A.P., and that’s where the renowned R&B music group The GAP Band got its name. They’re from Tulsa. Black Wallstreet was a prime example of the typical Black community in America that did business, but it was in an unusual location. You see, at the time, Oklahoma was set aside to be a Black and Indian state. There were over 28 Black townships there. One third of the people who traveled in the terrifying “Trail of Tears” along side the Indians between 1830 to 1842 were Black people. The citizens of this proposed Indian and Black state chose a Black governor, a treasurer from Kansas named McDade. But the Ku Klux Klan said that if he assumed office that they would kill him within 48 hours. A lot of Blacks owned farmland, and many of them had gone into the oil business. The community was so tight and wealthy because they traded dollars hand-to-hand, and because they were dependent upon one another as a result of the Jim Crow laws.
It was not unusual that if a resident’s home accidentally burned down, it could be rebuilt within a few weeks by neighbors. This was the type of scenario that was going on day-to-day on Black Wallstreet. When Blacks intermarried into the Indian culture, some of them received their promised ’40 acres and a Mule,’ and with that came whatever oil was later found on the properties.
Just to show you how wealthy a lot of Black people were, there was a banker in a neighboring town who had a wife named California Taylor. Her father owned the largest cotton gin west of the Mississippi [River]. When California shopped, she would take a cruise to Paris every three months to have her clothes made. There was also a man named Mason in nearby Wagner County who had the largest potato farm west of the Mississippi. When he harvested, he would fill 100 boxcars a day. Another brother not far away had the same thing with a spinach farm. The typical family then was five children or more, though the typical farm family would have 10 kids or more who made up the nucleus of the labor.
On Black Wallstreet, a lot of global business was conducted. The community flourished from the early 1900s until June 1, 1921. That’s when the largest massacre of non-military Americans in the history of this country took place, and it was lead by the Ku Klux Klan. Imagine walking out of your front door and seeing 1,500 homes being burned. It must have been amazing.
Survivors we interviewed think that the whole thing was planned because during the time that all of this was going on, white families with their children stood around on the borders of the community and watched the massacre, the looting and everything—much in the same manner they would watch a lynching.
In my lectures I ask people if they understand where the word “picnic” comes from. It was typical to have a picnic on a Friday evening in Oklahoma. The word was short for “pick a nigger” to lynch. They would lynch a Black male and cut off body parts as souvenirs. This went on every weekend in this country. That’s where the term really came from. The riots weren’t caused by anything Black or white. It was caused by jealousy. A lot of white folks had come back from World War I and they were poor. When they looked over into the Black communities and realized that Black men who fought in the war had come home heroes that helped trigger the destruction. It cost the Black community everything, and not a single dime of restitution—no insurance claims-has been awarded to the victims to this day.
Nonetheless, they rebuilt. We estimate that 1,500 to 3,000 people were killed, and we know that a lot of them were buried in mass graves all around the city. Some were thrown in the river. As a matter of fact, at 21st Street and Yale Avenue, where there now stands a Sears parking lot, that corner used to be a coal mine. They threw a lot of the bodies into the shafts. Black Americans don’t know about this story because we don’t apply the word holocaust to our struggle. Jewish people use the word holocaust all the time. White people use the word holocaust. It’s politically correct to use it. But when we Black folks use the word, people think we’re being cry babies or that we’re trying to bring up old issues. No one comes to our support. In 1910, our forefathers and mothers owned 13 million acres of land at the height of racism in this country, so the Black Wallstreet book and videotape prove to the naysayers and revisionists that we had our act together. Our mandate now is to begin to teach our children about our own, ongoing Black holocaust. They have to know when they look at our communities today that we don’t come from this.
Oh yes, Where on earth do you find an area that is not somewhat affluent successful. Please name some.
Why can’t we just let the past be the past. Let’s try to move on. Not all new comers act like the people of the “past”. You can sit there and dwell on the past if you want but there are many looking forward to the future and doing what they can now in the present to make the future better. New comers shouldn’t have to live with the sins of the past generations. If so, there’s a whole lot of paying that AA would have to do too. I’m actually Vietnamese. If I keep thinking about the Vietnam War and what Americans did (yes, there were AAs there doing wrong too), I would get no where. So get over it and work together with other ethnics and make Harlem a better place. The first poster might have said things a little harsh, but instead of shooting at her, why don’t we show her what Harlemites are really like–kind, generous and welcoming.
The age range for both groups is 25-40.
The Collective is co-ed and remains at Ginger every 4th Thursday. We get a good diverse group of people. So far the makeup has included museum curators, music industry cats, actors, teachers, people who work in sports (NFL), grad students, entrepreneurs and freelancers. Mercedes Benz – Manhattan actually sponsored the first few.
Girlfriends Get-Together is only for the ladies (sorry fellas) and moves around the city. We’ve gone horseback riding, scuba diving, to the gun range, Vagina Monologues, etc, etc. We do a bunch of things. We have a panel discussion coming up in October that will deal with women establishing a sense of self and working on balance within their lives.
If you are interested in learning more, send your information to: contact@tinaleemedia.com. This way we can let you know about the events on a more personal level. Or we can answer any questions.
Ciao!
~Bettina
What is the target age for these get togethers? Will it always be at Gingers ?
I think it is funny that we attribute the growth to the “new comers” whoever they might be, but as I walk through the neighborhood where I have lived for 10 years I see empty buildings wher vital stores use to be.
Oh well I lament.
I truly hope the readers and posters are not AA, because if they were and reading the comments posted we truly would be a doomed race.
“So I think we should thank some of these new comers for making the neighborhood a little safer, a little little more desirable to developers, who in turn, bring in the amenities that we can enjoy.”
Since you’re suggesting that we give credit to the new comers, I’d like you to also acknowledge them for the past racism and discrimination that this neighborhood has experienced due to their actions. (Both government and private industry.)
Acknowledge their redlining that prevented the affluent blacks that you mentioned from getting mortgages in the neighborhood.
Acknowledge them for the substandard education provided to the community.
Acknowledge them for the many of the negatives in the neighborhood that they are now reversing.
“These affluent Blacks have created a wonderful area to live. But, to build an area like that, the make up must be predominantly “affluent”. If not, it won’t work. Harlem has alot of citizens below poverty level so we need more money pumped into this economy so that it can get better.”
Affluence isn’t the only factor that makes a neighborhood succesful.
The value place on the people of the neighborhood is truly the determining factor.
I think the first commenter is simply revealing their own insecurities with their comments. Nothing in the description of the event states anything about being for African-Americans only! Just because the picture is of two black women you have just taken the liberty to assume whites are welcome. Do you know how many places/events blacks in America attend where there are only white people pictured, but we still go? How many situations that we still put ourselves in, even when we are almost certain we will be the only black person there? Have you ever had white event in Harlem that you submitted to Uptown Flavor and it was rejected? By the way this blog also seems to post a lot of Latino events too. Are there a bunch of white events that are being ignored? Please share and then let’s discuss that. But don’t just project your own insecurities everywhere.
First, THANK YOU HARLEM FLAVOR for the posting! I truly appreciate that. I assume by the picture you think that I’m black, but based off my name, you wouldn’t know it. Actually, the woman who came to cover the event was Asian. I don’t think her intent was to propose my events as “Black Events” because they aren’t, they are for all races.
Girlfriends Get-Together provides an opportunity for youthful women of all shapes, sizes, and ethnicities to step outside of their box and cultivate new relationships. This is not a time for ‘Men Bashing’ or to lament over life’s woes. At GGT, women are there to uplift each other, network, laugh, bond, and meet new girlfriends. Usually women want to meet new women, but they do not know how; it can be a bit intimidating. These events serve as a catalyst for doing just that.
As for The Collective, it is not another business card swap in which one says, “Let’s do lunch,” merely for superficial reasons. The Collective is designed for people to cultivate genuine connections. All are encouraged to leave the pompous attitudes behind, mix & mingle, meet other professionals, and enjoy themselves. Cliques are strongly discouraged. Invited individuals are usually professionally dressed; encouraged to laugh, eat and be merry while socializing and listening to great music. You don’t have to be BLACK to be an urban professional. By simply living in this mega-melting pot called New York City, you are urban. We don’t live some rural small town in which cow-tipping is our pastime (hey, if that is your pastime and you like it, then I love it).
Again, thank you for the support and I hope to meet you all one day!
Be Seen at the Top!
~Bettina Lee
I’m curious. So does a person have to live in Harlem prior to the 80′s to say that they love Harlem and that’s why they live here now?
I think it’s pretty much human nature to move where they can afford to live and then build up. Historically home owners make a place desirable and raises the value of the area. So as a homeowner myself, anything that makes this area more desirable, I’m all for it. If people were to stay away from Harlem forever, it probably won’t be what it is today. So I think we should thank some of these new comers for making the neighborhood a little safer, a little little more desirable to developers, who in turn, bring in the amenities that we can enjoy. Of course, this drives the cost of living up, but isn’t that a price to pay for a better place to live? You go anywhere in America, a nice area always cost more, has better schools, better police service, better citizens.
Ya know, I’m not saying that an area can’t be all African Americans for it to be successful. I’m from Tulsa, OK so you guys can read into Black Wallstreet and know that it is very possible. It is still like that today, where Gilcrease Hills is still predominately Black. These affluent Blacks have created a wonderful area to live. But, to build an area like that, the make up must be predominantly “affluent”. If not, it won’t work. Harlem has alot of citizens below poverty level so we need more money pumped into this economy so that it can get better. For now, it means accepting Whites, Yellows, Reds and Aliens if we have to.
So I think we should stop telling newcomers to “cope” but rather to accept and work with them to make this place better. This will mean that everybody will have to give a little and be more understanding. Dang people, we’re all adults here. Grow up and start thinking about what’s good for your children and grand-children. BETTER SCHOOLS, BETTER STREETS, BETTER FOOD, BETTER HOMES–BETTER LIFE. Why not want this?????
Wow, it always get racial. Interesting post though. I can see Elizabeth’s point of view. I’m Asian and read this blog because I also live in Harlem. Sometimes I do feel that the blog is geared towards African Americans, but then again many of the happenings in Harlem are AA centered. As time goes by, this world, not just Harlem, will be BEIGE and everybody will be happy.
Dear Elizabeth
No Harlem doesn’t belong to black people, but it is a historical black neighborhood. So yes, we have more claim to it than any other people. Since Harlem is experiencing an influx of non-blacks, these are the same people who feel it belongs to them… with reason.
But it doesn’t truth be told. These non-whites are not here becuase they love the neighborhood. If that was the case, then Ms. Kaufman you would have been here in the 80s, or even the early 90s.
No, you are here because the current area has created an economically viable place to live… that is somewhat affordable and is STILL in Manhattan.
So if you want a blog from a white perspective, stop posting/reading here and move on. I mean its typical of a non-black to suggest that something that is suited or aimed at blacks seems to be not worth it. Simply saying that this blog will not or is uncapable of being successful is silly, arrogant and I dare say a little racist. YOU live here now, so cope
My name is Ali Burke
Dear Elizabeth Kaufman,
Relax, no one is going to hunt you down. Maybe I misread, but I didn’t see the word “black” mentioned in the post. And if it were, would that be a problem? If you’re new to the neighborhood, and looking for company, I’d suggest checking out the next GGT event. Yes, there might be a black person there. There might even be several. But don’t worry, I imagine they’d be quite welcoming–black, white, green, purple, or whatever color you might happen to be.
Why do black folks think that Harlem belongs to just blacks? Why does Harlem Flavor have to mean “black flavor”. I’m sure you know the future of Harlem is going to be very very different.
I was just suggesting that there should be more diverse postings. Afterall, even a blog is a business. Appealing to only one color will not be a very wise decision, especially if you’re trying to build a business. No advertisers want to pay just to attract one particular race. At least not the big corporations.
And what does posting my name have anything to do with anything. My name is Elizabeth Kaufman. What will you do? Hunt me down?
The name of the site is Harlem Flavor. If you were black, you would know that what the terminology means. If you are not happy with what is being posted, I suggest you go to the site called “Outside.in”. There you will find other outsiders (usually non-new yorkers) bitchin about what a current neighborhood needs.
Although Harlem is changing, do not forget it is called the black mecca (but then again, maybe you didn’t know this). So you should be a little more respectful of the neighborhood you currently reside in. Or at least have the courage to at least post your name on the site.
Isn’t Harlem changing. Why is everything on Harlem Flavor “black” Aren’t there events with other colors?
Ya know, networking with “urban” professionals only is not so beneficial.